Venting.

I shall use this lovely blog to vent my feelings. Isn't that what it's for, anyway?? Well as you all are aware (if indeed you are between the ages of four and seventeen) school begins this week. Tomorrow, actually. And I am not looking forward to it. Why? Take a guess. WRONG!! It is not because I normally hate school and homework and learning. It's not my fave thing to do, but it's not so bad either. Except this year.
Senior year. The "grand finale." Well I haven't started it yet and I am already hating the stupid question: "What are you planning to do after this year?" DIE IMBICILE!!!!!! Ok, so they're just curious. But I'm still sick of saying, "I DON"T KNOW I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!" I hate not knowing. I feel like a bum. A big one, at that. And I don't relish the idea of college either. All those papers you have to write, business, away from home, staying up late, studying constantly, and spending too much money. Ugh. If I had an idea, then it would be a lot easier. But I think I'm much too simple for all these lofty goals and top-notch education....yet it seems a pity to not use my intellect. Then I think, I don't have to use my brains for THAT kind of stuff, it could be something else that requires intelligence. Something I would enjoy. But what?? I prefer using brawn to brains, and nature to stuffy indoors, art to math, etc etc. I want to help people, but I'm timid and unassertive and HATE meeting new people. I know God has a plan, but if I don't know what it is how do I keep going on in uncertainty? Surely if I was supposed to do something that requires college I should be working on that instead of wallowing in indecision? Or maybe I'm supposed to do something totally different and college would be a huge waste of time and money and energy? Too many questions. No answers. Except that I still need to trust God. But what do I do in the meantime???